


Scars

by xo_marauders



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, M/M, Mention of blood, Sad Remus Lupin, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Supportive Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:48:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25734562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xo_marauders/pseuds/xo_marauders
Summary: Request: May I please have Remus getting a bad scar and looking at himself in the mirror hating himself and Sirius walks in and comforts him and they get together? Thank you!****His reflection in the mirror had become blurry as tears filled Remus’ eyes from both pain and horror. Right there, stretching across his nose and cheeks, was the most jagged and ugly scar. His hands shook as he stared at his reflection, the knowledge of how unavoidably noticeable it was scaring him to death. What would people say? What would people think? They would surely realize he was a monster now. He surely looked like one.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 99





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> tw: self-hatred and depressive thoughts

His reflection in the mirror had become blurry as tears filled Remus’ eyes from both pain and horror. Right there, stretching across his nose and cheeks, was the most jagged and ugly scar. His hands shook as he stared at his reflection, the knowledge of how unavoidably noticeable it was scaring him to death. What would people say? What would people _think_? They would surely realize he was a monster now. He surely looked like one.

Tentatively, he brushed his finger tips along the edge of the still pink and puckered skin, only to suck in a strangled breath. There was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do. Pomfrey had tried a variety of salves but none would completely make it disappear. The apologetic look on her face was still locked in Remus’ mind.

“Rem?” A familiar voice called, followed by a soft knock on the bathroom door where Remus had trapped himself.

Remus closed his eyes and bit down hard on his lip. He didn’t want Sirius to see him like this, he wouldn’t be able to handle the look of complete disgust that would surely mar his friends beautiful face.

“Go away, Sirius.” Remus choked out around a sob. Tears stung as they slid down his cheeks, reminding Remus of his disfigurement even further.

There was a soft click and Remus knew Sirius had unlocked the door but he didn’t have the strength in him to do anything about it. He just gripped the sink tighter and waited for Sirius to see him for what he truly is and decided that their friendship had gone on long enough and that he could no longer be around someone who looked so much like the monster he became each month.

For a moment, nothing happened and then, Remus flinched as cold fingers lightly caressed his chin and moved slowly upward to trace the broken skin. It was surprisingly soothing, Sirius’ cold hands offering a sort of relief to the burning skin and Remus wanted to relish in it. But his head wouldn’t let him, and he quickly shoved Sirius away.

“It’s hideous, I know.” Remus growled, his stomach feeling sick. “You don’t have to look at it, okay? You can just leave. I understand.”

“I don’t think it’s hideous, Moons.” Sirius said quietly.

Remus looked up and Sirius was smiling at him. Not his usual smirk, but a soft, almost delicate smile. The type that made Remus feel all tingly inside.

“How could you not?” Remus asked incredulously. “It’s...it’s this giant scar in the middle of my fucking face, Sirius!”

He motioned to himself helplessly, trying to get Sirius to see what he saw, but the other boy just stood there, no hint of shock or horror on his face. Remus was dumbstruck. How could Sirius even stand to be in the same room as him now? How could he stand there and look at Remus as if he were a normal person and not some terrible monster?

“Rem,” Sirius started slowly, “it’s a scar. And it’s sucks but...but you’re _here_. I still get to have my friend and laugh with him and read with him and complain about homework with him.” Sirius laughed lightly, even as his eyes became misty. “I still get to have you alive, Rem. And this scar just shows how you survived to me.”

“Well, maybe I shouldn’t have.”

“Don’t say that.” Sirius rushed forward, his hands coming up to cup Remus’ cheeks once more. “Please, don’t ever say that, Remus. I couldn’t stand to be without you.”

He pressed a kiss under his left eye.

“I couldn’t breathe without you.”

Another kiss under his right eye.

“I couldn’t cope without you.”

A kiss for his nose.

“Remus, I cannot _live_ without you.”

Sirius’ lips pressed softly against Remus’ own, hesitantly, as if asking for permission and Remus granted it. He pulled the dark haired boy closer to him, but still not close enough, _never_ close enough, and he let himself fall, let himself become consumed in Sirius’ love in an effort to wash away his own self hate.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!   
> comments and kudos are always appreciated   
> come chat with me on tumblr @xomarauders


End file.
